i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
