so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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