We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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