That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
