can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize