Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
