i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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