Where did you get a picture of my penis
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
