Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
