I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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