wat bout pragnant strippers??
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
