would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
