Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
