I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
