I just saw a hot homeless man
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
