My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
