I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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