Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We are all done wearing pants today
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
