How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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