New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
