Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
