so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
