she looked like the before picture.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
