what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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