dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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