she kept yelling 'call me bella'
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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