New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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