While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
