I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
