Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
