I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
