u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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