Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
