The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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