i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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