I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
That was an excessively violent trivia night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
