Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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