I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
