i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
