just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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