I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
