if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
