You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize