YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize