Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
