Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
