So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
