You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
