so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
