i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
