Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
