Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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