Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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