He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
