I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
