it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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