And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
These tits shall not be calmed
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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