He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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