oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
