I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
