My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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