would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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