I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize