don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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