so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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