Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
