At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My pussy is not your playground.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
