Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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