Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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