I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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