The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
