you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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