She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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