is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
