Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
