Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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