we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize