I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
